If you have heard me talk about anal sex at all, then you know that the anus is not self-lubricating, so lube is CRUCIAL for all anal play. And I have adamantly expressed how important choosing the right type of lube for you is. But where do you start on the journey to finding the right lube for anal play? Well, I am here to help. Here is a breakdown of how to go about finding your lube.
Decide what anal activity you are going to use it for
You probably already know this, but certain lubes can’t be used on certain things. There is only one universal lube you never have to question using: water-based lube. So if you want to tap out now in finding the lube for you and just rest on the comfort of knowing you can use a water-based, feel free, but if you would like to diversify your lube selection, keep reading.
Silicone lube gets tricky because you can’t use silicone lube on silicone toys. So if you are trying to anal train with a silicone set, you would have to opt for a water-based lube for this. Close in the family of silicone lubes are hybrid lubes. Now, these come in a variety of mixtures – some are half and half water and silicone, some 70% water, 30% silicone, and others are mixes of oil-based lubes. Oil-based lubes are what you need to be most mindful of. Oil-based are not to be used with condoms as they break down the material, so if you are engaging in penetrative anal sex with a condom, you will not want to use oil-based. You also don’t want to use oil-based lube on sex toys of any material because the oil in it can coat the toy making it very difficult to fully clean the toy.
Major Take Aways: Water-based is safe for any and all activities. Silicone should not be used if you are using silicone toys (it’s safe to use with glass or metal toys). Oil-based should never be used with condoms because it breaks down the material, and it shouldn’t be used with sex toys as the oil will coat them.
Think about thickness
Lubes come in a variety of different viscosities. Some are as runny as water, and others are thicker than a snicker (not really, but they are pretty thick). Some people prefer thinner lubes because they allow for smoother or easier glide in and out of the anus. Others like thicker lube because they offer a little more cushion. Thicker lubes can be useful when wearing butt plugs, especially since it is a lot more difficult to reapply lube to a butt plug already in. When deciding on a thickness you like, it is a good idea to go into a sex shop to feel the testers or order sample sizes from websites if they are available.
Recommendations for varying viscosities:
To numb or not, that is the question
A lot of concern around anal sex is it hurting, and in response to that, there are a lot of different options to help relax or numb you for anal play. This gives the idea that numbing the anus for anal play is a good idea. That is a false, false, falsity! If you were to use numbing products, you wouldn’t be able to feel the pleasure of anal stimulation, and you also wouldn’t be able to tell if there was something wrong or you were in pain, which is extremely important with anal play. If you would like something to ease your worries and bum, then look for relaxing products. The two most popular options for relaxing the anus are relaxing lubes and poppers. Please be aware that poppers are considered a recreational drug. I am not saying you should run out and go get them; I am just offering all the information so that way, in case you hear it from someone, you aren’t confused but well informed. If you want a more scientific breakdown of poppers, watch this Tik Tok.
So that is an option people use when trying to relax for anal play. But the more accessible, in my opinion, is relaxing anal lube. I love one brand in particular for their relaxing lubes – Intimate Earth! They have a Bliss Water-Based, Soothe Water-Based, and Ease Silicone. All three of these lubes have ingredients that help relax the anus, so you can still feel everything, but it will be a little easier to engage in the activity. The best part is that since they are lubes, you can reapply as needed. Unlike with poppers, where there is an extreme risk if you snort a bunch of them in short periods of time.
Now that you understand the complexities of lube a little more, I hope you feel more prepared and educated to best make the decision for you. If you are in need of some more assistance in the process, though, be sure to visit your local sex shop and chat with a sales associate there, or you can schedule a PleasureRX session with me.