For many of us, intentionally finding pleasure in our daily lives is not as easy would hope. The stressors of life and adulthood suck the fun out of things. Adulthood is to adults as Jamie Lee Curtis is to Lindsay Lohan in Freaky Friday – a funsucker. The joy that is sucked out of life thanks to daily responsibilities and tasks takes pleasure along with it. But just because the world we live in has made pleasure seem unattainable doesn’t mean it has to remain that way. There are various ways to make life, specifically adulthood, more pleasurable, and one great way is by creating a pleasure practice.
What is a pleasure practice?
A pleasure practice is intentional activities and behaviors you engage in that please you. Pleasure practices can look a variety of ways, and focus on so many different types of pleasure. There are physical pleasure practices, sexual pleasure practices, meditative pleasure practices, and combinations of various pleasure practices.
The great thing about creating a pleasure practice is that you get to make it for yourself and as you please. That means that if you want to mix and match with various pleasurable activities you can do that. If you’re going to treat yourself with your pleasure practice and do it more sparingly because that is all the time and availability that you have, then you can do that. If you want to create a pleasure practice that you can bring your children into so they understand the importance of pleasure, then go for it.
There indeed are no rules when it comes to creating a pleasure practice. And we know that when there are no rules to things, it can be a little overwhelming in terms of how to get started, so I figured it would be to offer some pointers or tips on ways you can begin your pleasure practice.
Please know that these tips are just something for you to think about. They are in no way law, and the end all be all way of going about it. This article is just a resource to offer some guidance for folks who may be overwhelmed or unsure about what to do and don’t know where to turn.
So let’s get started….
- Write a list of everything you find pleasurable. I genuinely do mean everything. Pleasurable leisure activities, pleasurable sexual activities, pleasurable relaxation activities, literally ANYTHING you find pleasing that gets you away from the stresses and weight of everyday life.
- Decide on how regularly you want to engage in your pleasure practice. If you want something that is a daily pleasure practice, it is going to look a little differently from a monthly or quarterly pleasure practice.
- Intentionally carve out time for your pleasure practice. Set a recurring event in your phone’s calendar, mark off that time in your planner, make a note of it on the family whiteboard to let everyone know that you are on DND during this specific amount of time.
- You can use the list you created to rotate through pleasurable activities, or you can just choose 2-3 activities and build them into the time you have blocked off for your pleasure practice.
So now that you have decided on your activities and block of time, how can you shift gears to get into your pleasure practice? If you are someone who needs a clear mind to truly relax, I recommend getting into meditation. It can help you get into the right space to be present and enjoy whatever your pleasure practice may be. If you need to reset before engaging in your pleasure practice, try taking a nap or showering beforehand.
The most important thing to remember about a pleasure practice is that it can look any way you want it to as long as it makes you happy, everything is consensually, and it adds pleasure to your life, rather than stress you are doing it just right!
And just in case you need it here is a short, non-exhaustive list of different pleasurable activities you can try:
- Daily masturbation
- Yoga practice
- Outdoor walks
- Creative writing
- Have breakfast in bed
- Listen to music
- Buy a new sex toy