Pleasure is defined as desire, gratification, amusement, and a source of delight and joy by Merriam-Webster dictionary. Thinking about that definition would it apply to your masturbation practices? It is very common for us to focus on a goal during masturbation but how often do you intentionally focus on the pleasure aspect of your masturbation practices? Today I am going to give you some tips and ideas on how to be more intentional in adding pleasure to your masturbation sessions.
Let your senses take control
For many of us turning off all that is going on in our brain is damn near impossible. Only the sagest of monks have really mastered the art, but that doesn’t mean we can’t master the art of letting our senses take the wheel. Next time you are engaging in some self pleasure try letting your senses dictate the situation to get your naturally attuned to they way your body is experiencing pleasure.
Listen to what you are hearing and how it is adding to the moment or detracting, which is totally normal and okay. If there are non-pleasurable auditory sounds try turning on pleasurable music, putting on noise cancelling headphones, or talking dirty to yourself.
Pay attention to how things feel on and in your body. Is the vibrator rumble going deep into your body? Do the sheets beneath you feel good against your skin? How does the lube feel on your fingers?
The nose gets little attention outside of the kitchen, but smells can turn us on as well. What are you smelling in the room? Is it turning you on more? Is it your own natural scent? Is it the linger scent of your partner on the pillow? Is it the smell of your latest hookups cologne or perfume? Is it your shampoo and conditioner?
Taste is a little tricky to pay attention to if you are not eating, but it can still play a part in the sensory experience. What tastes are lingering in your mouth from earlier? What is happening in your mouth as you are self pleasuring? Are salivating more as your experience more pleasure? Do you get cotton mouth the more aroused you become?
The last sense to pay attention to is sight. Are your eyes open? Are you aware of what is going on in the room? Are your eyes closed and are you visualizing something sexy? Is it a mix a of both?
Add pleasurable elements
Do you enjoy candles? Incenses? Aromatherapy? Do good smelling things bring your pleasure? If you find pleasure in sensory things, such as smell try lighting a candle before your solo play time. If the smell of your partner is what you find pleasurable try masturbating in an article of their clothing (with their consent) or spray their cologne/perfume/body spray onto the surface where you are enjoying yourself. If you are more auditory try turning on your favorite sexy music.
Goal oriented masturbation can counteract pleasure
Mainstream media has instilled this idea that all sex is supposed to end in orgasm. That includes solo sex, partnered sex, group sex, period sex, everything, but that’s not true. The idea that sex has to have an end goal actually adds stress to the moment. How many times have you been so focused on climaxing or reaching orgasm that you can’t get there? The brain is the biggest sex organ, so if your brain is thinking about something it has to do how can it be noticing and experiencing all the pleasurable sensations? Try not focusing on orgasming, but just on the sensations you are feeling.
There is no right or wrong way to masturbate, as long as you are enjoying the experience. But definitely take some time to think before, during, and after solo play, “was that pleasurable?” If you don’t know or can’t answer the question take some time and ask yourself “how do I define pleasure?” Once you can answer that question you can more easily apply it to your masturbation sessions and other sexual activity experiences.